Socialists Endorse Bernie’s Bold Redistribution Plan. Say it Did Wonders For Them Too
Bernie picked up some huge endorsements this week from other socialists who have implemented similar wealth distribution plans, and they say it did wonders for their countries too.
At a press conference at Bernie headquarters, with a hammer and sickle flag hanging behind them, socialist leaders got together and endorsed Bernie.
Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez, Cuba’s Fidel Castro, China’s Mao Zedong, and former Soviet Union’s Joseph Stalin all came out in support of Bernie’s plans. Fidel Castro said “when we implemented our wealth redistribution plans against the evil, greedy rich people, to quote my fine comrade here, they were so successful that the policies saw a 10000% increase in boat ownership among our citizens. A testament to the wealth our policies created for our island citizens.”
Chairman Mao agreed. “Bernie uses a lot of my phrases in his speeches, and I really appreciate that. We also had an income inequality problem and turned to socialism to fix it. It was very successful. We only had to kill 80 million people to get it done.” He said. “You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette!” Joseph Stalin chimed in.
Hugo Chavez was also just as supportive. “Bernie supported my revolution and praised what I did for Venezuela. He said we were better off with my socialist revolution and he was right. Thank you for your support Bernie” All of the despots then began to group hug Bernie on stage,
editor’s note: this is obviously satire. articles written as satire are labeled as such for it’s category.