State Farm Cancels Bloomberg’s Life Insurance After Hillary VP Announcement

Michael Bloomberg stood tall this morning on a stack of books, telling his supporters and the media that he has decided upon his VP: Hillary Clinton.

Unfortunately for the tiny mayor, his decision just cost him in a way he never expected. State Farm called him up after actuaries calculated and crunched the numbers: he was no longer insurable.

They cited the fact that Hillary was intent on becoming the President “by hook or by crook” and that the billionaire’s life could possibly be at risk.

Bloomberg has two daughters, Georgina and Emma, who would be the beneficiaries of the policy in the unfortunate case where he would pass away. The pint sized billionaire is worth $62 billion and his policies are said to be worth 5x the amount of his net worth as suggested by top financial planners.

“Michael Bloomberg was a great customer”, said a State Farm rep, “he always paid his premiums on time, and has been with us since 1982. But after he made a risky life decision, we’ve decided that he is no longer qualified to be a policy holder.”

Note: this article is satire. Nothing, aside from the fact that Bloomberg is considering Hillary as VP is true.


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